Masculinity has never been an obvious thing to me. And I have come to notice that most men do not have a clear idea and a clear feeling about it either these days, even though I see it as an extremely important matter. A lot of men live their lives without really knowing what it means for them to be a man!

Feminism and women’s movements have brought about profound changes in our society and in our collective psyche. The old definitions of masculinity and femininity and the old role models are being questioned in their essence. The patriarchy, which had been in place for about 5000 years, makes way for something else… but what? Nobody really knows. Neither men nor women. This process was initiated mainly by women, and if we want to restore clarity and harmony between the genders, then it is urgent for men to actively participate and contribute as well!

What does this mean for us men on a personal level? It means taking responsibility for our own masculinity. It means pulling your head out of the sand and asking yourself: am I fulfilled and satisfied as a man? What is my contribution as a man? What makes me specific? What makes me fundamentally different from women? I firmly believe that women and men complement each other, are not the same and do not play the same role. I do not think a man in search of meaning and orientation in his life can avoid the question of masculinity.

Possible challenges

  • What does it mean for me to be a man? I want to feel my masculinity. What is masculinity?
  • What is my mission in life (as a man)? What is my contribution?
  • I long for wilderness, for adventure, for heroic achievements... where is all this in my life? How can I experience this?
  • I feel unmanned by the consumer society and the whole entertainment industry. How can I realize myself as a man in this context?
  • I want to feel that what I do actually matters, makes a difference and is vital for me and the people around me. But I don’t experience that in my everyday life. I sometimes feel useless.
  • Everyone tells me I’m nice, but honestly, I'd rather be wild, untamed and dangerous and get more respect. Where is the solution?
  • For women, I am always the nice buddy they can talk to about everything, but nothing else happens. Honestly, I’d almost rather be an “asshole” that has sex. Is there a third way?
  • I feel castrated by very confident women or feminists. It seems to me that women are gaining more and more power and control and that I can no longer express myself as a man.
  • At home and in my work, I have the feeling I am expected to be a good boy and not make waves. So I am a good boy, and my inner fire slowly extinguishes...
  • How can I channel my aggression and energy in a meaningful way?
  • I cannot get close to my emotions. I have been taught that as a man I should not cry and that the expression of emotions is a sign of weakness. I have been suppressing my needs and I want to free myself.
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